Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts

Thursday, December 24, 2009

My Grandfather's words for me......

I dont remember much about my grandfather as he passed away when I was too young. I remember him to be a lean fair and handsome man with a very stern face. Frankly speaking I am not very emotional about him since I have not seen much of him. However, couple of days back my father while going an old diary read out a few lines etched out by my grandfather which made me reconsider my feelings for him. It said:

....We hope, she would take her first mouthfull of rice fed from her father's hand, watched and guided by the Goddess in whose presence it is being done, with gay relish and continue to do so for the rest of her long and healthy life, for which we send our blessings and good wishes to her..... (Letter dated 05.02.1983 on the occasion of Suja's Annaprasnan on 06.02.1983)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Love Letter....

My Dear,

My heart was like a dry leaf flying aimlessly in the air. You gave it direction, You gave it color, You gave it life, You filled it with hope and You filled it with "LOVE".
Now my heart looks forward to each day with hope, vigor and spirit. It looks forward to each to create memories which I will carry along for the rest of my life.
I know that in this life we will never be able to unite but wait.....
What is the meaning of this word "UNITE"? If two people are said to unite when their hearts beat alike, souls breathe alike, bodies feel alike and thoughts think alike, then are we not already united?
What many couple don't achieve after years of marriage, we have achieved in months of togetherness.
It is however another fact that if we were united in matrimony we would have been a perfect couple but then there cannot be anything called "PERFECT" in this world which explains why our relationship will remain imperfect.
Someday when my grandchildren ask me to narrate bedtime stories, I will tell them a beautiful tale of a boy and a girl who once upon a time loved each other against all odds of the world and through their love for each other enabled the other to live on to fulfill their responsibilities towards their family and society. And thus they lived happily (and sadly) ever after......

Wishing you lots of beautiful memories,
Your Dear.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

This Black has more colour......

"Black" is one of my favourite films. And this is one of the best scenes of the film. Of course there is no doubt in the fact that one of the factors that makes this scene very memorable is the tremendous acting skills exhibited by Rani Mukherjee. But more than that what touched me was the manner in which Sanjay Leela Bhansali portrayed the relationship between the teacher and student. The apprehension on Amitabh Bachchan's face while his student goes through the interview symbolises the anxiety which every teacher feels when his/her student passes out from the institution, the anxiety to see them well placed in life. It also beautifully captures the emotion of a student for whom a teacher is not just somebody who imparts education but a person who becomes a guiding light in his/her life.
Since I have enjoyed the company of a teacher who is quite like Mr Sahai, there is all the more reason for me to enjoy this scene. I get chocked with emotion each time Rani Mukherjee says "T...." in the film.
Shalini teacher, this one's for you........

Friday, September 7, 2007

Life Mein Kabhi Kabhi........

Sometimes in life, unexpected people and names remind you of old wounds which lay buried deep inside the heart.............

It was a saturday evening when Pooja called me. Pooja who is my collegue and good friend since the last year and a half, was bred in Mumbai and much to her dislike had to relocate to Chennai because of her job. She didnt have many friends here (like myself) but we vibed really well.

Me: "Hey Pooch, What’s up buddy?"
Pooja: "Guess what? I’ ve good news"
Me: "Dont tell me that you are getting married!!!!!!!! he he he!!!!!"
Pooja: "YUP, Prachi I am getting married!!!!!!!! Can u believe it?????"
Me: "WHAT!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Pooch, you kidding me!!!!!!"
Pooja: "No Prachi, this is true and I want you to meet him. He's come down from Bangalore. Can we all meet up tomorrow? He's leaving next week."
Me: "Sure dear, but at least tell me his name and what does he do?. Pooja, you can’t simply expect me to let you off without divulging anything about him. You have to give me all his details so that I can prepare to interrogate him tomorrow, he he he he he.... after all this is my future jeeju you are talking about."
Pooja: "Okie, will tell you the details. First decide the place coz I’ ve to inform him. How about Espahani Centre?
Me: " Poochhhhh, no not that place, please. You know how much I dislike the place right?. I feel very uncomfortable there"
Pooja: "Ya, I know but he loves the place. He has a lot of memories attached to it. He grew up in Chennai. Please Prachi, don't say no. Its the first time he's told me his preference and I don't want to disappoint him. Prachuuuuuuuuu"
Me: "Ok Ok, Dont sulk now. Fine, lets meet up there but don't blame me if I am not myself. Gosh, just look what love does to people!!!! (Pooja giggles)
You still have not given me the details dumbo."
Pooja: "Ok listen. His name is Raj, a Company Secretary working in Bangalore. He was born and brought up in Chennai.........."

I was not listening to the rest of the things Pooja said. I could’nt listen. I was trembling instead. That was the effect the word "RAJ" still had on me. I did’nt want to go down memory lane. I wish Pooch had not called me, I wish I had not asked her fiance's name. I wish I had left Chennai then, three years back.

Espahani Centre - 3 years back

Raj and I always met up at Espahani Centre. I don't remember how we ended up choosing the place but it was almost as if it was meant to be.
Raj and I had been staying in the same colony since childhood. We had been friends, rather we had a lot of common friends. But it was when his family shifted to another residential area that we realised that our feelings for each other had blossomed into love. We started meeting often. First we met up at movies and later graduated to Espahani Centre. Espahani was witness to all our celebrations be it birthdays, or anniverseries for the whole of four years we were together.
One day we met up at Espahani, only this time the reason was completely different from the rest. Raj was moving to Bangalore because his father had got a transfer and wanted to meet me before he left. Little did I know then that it would be the last time we would meet. We felt very sad to part but Raj promised that once he completed his Company Secretaryship he would speak to our parents about us. But as time passed the telephone conversations reduced to sms's which then reduced to mails and then finally it was just silence....... I was desperate to hear from him but neither did he answer my calls nor did he reply to my mails or sms's. I took his silence in the begining as the aftermath of some mishap in his life but later on was informed by a mutual friend that he was very much in touch with them. After a while I was forced to give up but not before feeling completely used up and emotionally drained. Why did he do this to me? Did he ever love me at all? Was I just a time pass for him? These were questions for which I would never find an answer.


Pooch was still talking. I collected myself and promised her that I would make it tomorrow.

It was finally when I got dressed on Sunday morning that it struck me like a bolt of lightning. Did Pooja say her fiance was Raj, a Company Secretery based in Bangalore???????? That's impossible. How can it be? God could’n t be so rude to me. How would I face him? What would I tell him? What would I tell Pooja - Glad to meet your fiance who also happens to be my ex-lover/ditcher? I had to make an excuse to not go but Pooja would be heart broken..........

I reached Espahani at sharp 12. I wanted to register the place well in my mind before I finally confronted Raj with all the questions that had given me sleepless nights for so long. Pooja would be here with Raj at 12.30.
How did Raj react when Pooja told him about Prachi, her best friend? Did he remember the name atleast?
At last after what seemed like a lifetime, I saw Pooja come with a very tall guy. As they came closer, I saw their faces, which were glowing in each others presence. Wait....... the guy with her, that's not Raj!!!!!!!!!!! Not the Raj I wanted to confront, warn Pooja against. For a moment I stood there, thanking God for making "RAJ", such a common name and "Company Secreteryship", a popular profession.
Pooja gave me what was probably the warmest hug I have ever got from her. As we sat talking, I could’nt help thinking......

Sometimes in life, unexpected people and names remind you of old wounds which lay buried deep inside the heart............. :)